Shallow is good as well...

How are people supposed to look at a blue sky and realise that it is supposed to represent something as abstruse as the size of a computer manufacturer? A blue sky means no clouds, which symbolises no rain again and use of the hosepipe, damn-it!

I have been playing 'L-Breakout 2'. Obviously it follows on 'L-Breakout 1'. It's one of those insanely addictive games that you can download free on the internet. It's a derivative of 'Bricks', where you had to use a paddle and a ball to knock down the blocks above the paddle.

The new version is more sophisticated than its earlier precursors. Obviously the balls speed up, and there are bricks that change the nature of the ball or the paddle, either for better or worse. I have to stop playing it. It is incredibly addictive, and a complete waste of time.

What makes it truly different from its precursors is that you can switch between sets of levels. Various people have set up their own arrangements of blocks, with varying degrees of difficulty. What makes it all the more interesting is that the designers of many of the sets of levels have inserted their own symbols and meaning into the layout of the blocks.

So, for instance, there are Christian motifs, flags, homages to films and games based on the squabble between Linux and Microsoft. Don't these people have better things to do? Like putting in more extra ball blocks or more extra lives blocks?

Why does this stupid game have to try and indoctrinate me in the religious beliefs of the level designer or the choice of Linux in favour of Microsoft? All I want to do is knock blocks out of the sky!

I spent years dealing with symbols and meaning in advertising. People would walk into the process demanding green as a symbol of the environment, blue because it represented a whole bunch of things which varied from day to day and puce to indicate the sense of peace that comes from good-natured service by the receptionist, who in all likelihood, would probably have to be on Prozac or gin or a combination of both, to be friendly, knowing the quality of receptionists around this town.

“Oh, and put a sheep over there in the foreground, to symbolise the warm fuzzy feeling you get from using our product... No I don't know what colour the sheep should be. It can't be black for obvious reasons and white is politically incorrect! On second thoughts, go with an Oryx or maybe a Springbok or a scaly anteater or something. And put a cloud up there to symbolise the warm and fuzzy aspect.”

How are people supposed to look at a blue sky and realise that it is supposed to represent something as abstruse as the size of a computer manufacturer? A blue sky means no clouds, which symbolises no rain again and use of the hosepipe, damn-it! And as far as I know, the only thing the shape of an animal represents is whether to run away or eat it, and in the latter case what sort of marinade is indicated, and the cooking time.

There is far too much meaning in everything. Everyone wants something to hang onto. Why? Shallow is good as well, and it doesn't make you any the dumber. In fact the risk of getting your blue sky mixed up with your warm, fuzzy sheep is far more risky in the 'downright dumb' stakes than just not bothering with depth or meaning in the first place.

And, if someone pushes you into an intellectual corner, you can simply say, “I'm an existentialist: I live from day to day.”