From the Innsmouth Observer, August 31

Rep. Senator Legitimate Jermyn
launches Marital Counseling Center

The Innsmouth Marital Counseling Center, on Yellowgill Road, opened its doors to couples from the community. Established by the City Fathers and the Elders Committee of the Obed Marsh Memorial Swimming Club with the goal of reversing the decline in family values, the institution is expected to serve the community of Innsmouth and to attract couples from as far afield as Dunwich.

Welcome to your life. Here's your desk.

If there are ten units of work that are really worth doing in a two-desk office and desk one contains two units of work, then desk two must contain eight units of work, or seven if you include the variable of the unit of work that is moving between offices or that is gathering dust on top of the filing cabinet in the corner.

Shallow is good as well...

How are people supposed to look at a blue sky and realise that it is supposed to represent something as abstruse as the size of a computer manufacturer? A blue sky means no clouds, which symbolises no rain again and use of the hosepipe, damn-it!

Noun of the week

It was 'endeavour', but somehow it became 'random'.

Randomness confuses me, I think

Going to space has been great for technology, and for the art of quick rationalisation. I'm not entirely sure what to do with the knowledge that the moon isn't made out of cheese.

Fullstop by Pierre Mare

The bitter execution
Of a fullstop
Denotes the interruption
Of your dream
Stop

There is such tension
Present in a fullstop
It seems too much
To ever be explained
Stop

Movie night: The Lady and the Reaper

Sometimes giving back can be taking away.

Silent radios

Radio was something that could be enjoyed almost anywhere in the house. Sometimes it was so gripping and vivid that I stopped what I was doing and just listened.

A rough guide to Namibian roads

“Larger antelope, particularly kudu, are as unpredictable, stupid and dangerous as drunken drivers, albeit more sober. Drivers should keep a close eye on the side of the road and slow down at the first sign of an animal.”

Convention on the Rights of the Child in child-friendly language

Here's the story. I was helping my daughter with some homework on the rights of children but the only easily accessible thing in child-friendly language on a Google search was a huge, full-colour PDF which is not going to be particularly useful anywhere except where they have large A3, full-colour printers. That is not in places where this sort of knowledge is most needed. I've copied the text out of the thing and cleaned it up. Copy it from the post and spread it around where it is needed.

Hello, hyena

The first time I came across a hyena was on a school camping trip in the Namib. We were there to help a biologist count mice that live on the side of dunes. The area was wild and full of the sort of creatures that are found in the desert.

The Complete Works of HP Lovecraft, free!

If you still think HP Lovecraft is a misspelled laptop, you need to read a bit more than you have been. Discover the writing of the father of modern horror with free ebook downloads of his complete works in several formats from the inestimable Cthulhu Chick.

Short movie: HP Lovecraft's 'Shadow out of Time'

An adaptation of H P Lovecraft's famous sci-fi story, and a bit of B-movie fun. This 14 minute short is a collaboration between Richard Svensson, Daniel Lennéer and Christopher Johansson. Åke Rosén stars, and John Hutch narrates.

From the Innsmouth Observer, August 19

 

Innsmouth SPCA calls owners to claim pets

The Innsmouth Observer has asked owners to claim lost pets that were put outside during the recent door-to-door visits by the Federal Government.

Movie night: The Lovers

Everything gets slightly tangled up in 'The Lovers', another thought-provoking piece from Thomas Dorman and Black Milk. Includes knitting and wool.

The truth is out there, and it's better left out there

Ghost Valley is urbanised, has been sold and developed in extra-large, heartburn-mortgage chunks. The fairy circles are tourist attractions, a couple of minutes to gawk, snap and stretch legs between here and way, way over there.

Veld fire, Rocky Crest, 16 August 2012

I've seen the veld fire
Crawling through the night

I've seen the mantis hesitate

I hope for cold rain
Falling in the night

The metaphysics and economics of mud

Sanitised living isn't great, except for makers of horror movies who make money with swarms of flies and patches of grime that make you gag when you wonder what it would be like if you licked your fingers.

Dressing for success, the Namibian way

“As far as personal grooming is concerned, a manly five-o-clock shadow is allowable, but only if you are a man.”

Noun of the week

'dirt'

From the Innsmouth Observer

 

Shock Ban on Skipping
at Lavinia Whateley Primary School.

According to sources who are nameless, the inexplicable ban on skipping in pre-primary classes at Lavinia Whateley Primary School is attracting attention from the highest levels including the City Fathers and the Elders Committee of the Obed Marsh Memorial Swimming Club.

Chilling out is reality

By accepting the presence and counterbalance of the completely unreal and strange, we might even begin to be able to appreciate the facts. You can start right now by accepting that I like being cold...

Photo removed from Facebook

This photo was removed from Facebook so I did a print screen and posted it here.

Movie Night: Zero

Zero is nothing until he finds the love of another Zero. Beautifully made. Twelve and a half minutes for everyone who has struggled with feeling out of place.

A quick note and a new page

I have been theorising how to take over the world again. Normal posts will resume once my mind stops racing.

In the mean time, keep an eye out for new stuff on the left column. another movie tonight and take a look at my new page 'Semiotics' at the top, towards the middle. (Yup, up there.) It focuses on repetitive global signals from news media. Having a future means it's going to be a brave new world. Whether it is good or bad depends on whether you see the upside or downside. Whatever happens, you'll get used to it. I'll add some more items in a couple of hours.

Tom Waits - Hell Broke Luce

A new video off his 2011 album, 'Bad As Me'.

Tom Waits, the fallacy of perfection and the sweet sound of gravel in the can

As far as I am concerned, I seem to have lost the map that points the way to perfection. And strangely enough, it’s not a place I’m entirely sure I want to visit. I’d probably embarrass myself by dropping the bone china, staining the rug and having a beer too many.

If you have good intentions be extremely cautious

Most religions ask their believers to do something individually. For instance the Bible says, 'Love your neighbour.' It does not say 'Form a committee to love your neighbour.'

Amazon reviews and likes for Kindle

Reviews and likes on Amazon don't seem to count for much in the Amazon marketing / sales department. I took a look at the sales ranking of a book (Kindle format) that I would have sacrificed a gonad to write and noticed that it was far below mine. This was in spite of about eleven more reviews (mostly five and some four stars) than my own single review, and umpteen more likes.

Fifty Shades and Twilight, arts and crafting

For the last few months I have been watching and thinking about the various threads I follow surrounding popular books, particularly Twilight and Fifty Shades. I have tried to put it together in a meaningful way, but haven't come to anything coherent yet other than my personal feelings on the matter.

Some blather and a note on thinking deeper when it comes to kids

The time I set aside for writing seems to have vanished. I have the beginnings of three stories on the go and one in the rewrite stage. Instead of pecking away at my keyboard I spent the time at a festival type of thing for kids with my daughter. You probably know the sort of thing: stalls and activities designed to part children from their parents' money. We have a fair amount of brand loyalty on the go tonight.

For about a minute, I turned into a raging conservative. Here's what happened...

Movie night: The Sandman

I had something with a science fiction feel to it lined up for tonight but before I could get to it, I found myself scratching around for something about the Sandman. Chordettes? Nah, not really. Metallica? Nothing to write home about. But I did find this creepy little treasure animated and directed by Paul Berry in 1991. It's not Dream of the Endless, but I'm sure Lord Morpehus would approve.

Finding your way in Namibia (a visitor's guide)

The absence of maps produced generations of Namibians who were adept at finding their way under the most difficult circumstances. Their cunning method was to stop and ask someone if they knew where something was.

Fear of food and scorpions on the menu

The meal of the future looks like it will draw a lot more on global influences than the current fusion style of chicken tikka pizza. If I were a scorpion I would be drawing deeper under my rock right now. If cockroaches, termites, meal-worms and ants could read, they would probably be extremely worried.