For a start, perhaps these silly stories are a good way of maintaining
the collective sanity. Who wants to read a serious news story about yet
another hike in the price of crude when you can skip all the stress and
go straight to the story about a burglar who tried to open an account
while he was in the process of committing a robbery?
I have become a bit of a news junkie. I find myself hitting three or four sites a couple of times a day. It started while I was waiting for my computer to do the things it does, for instance taking forever to upload a file, or to squeeze a mail through the multiple layers of virus protection. ‘Let’s see what the Americans or Koreans are up to today.’
Once upon a time, I used to surf. I found strange and interesting people. But now that the rest of the world has institutionalized itself on the web, the real lunatics aren’t so interesting anymore, with the possible exception of a fascinating site with an unhealthy interest in the aerodynamics of paper planes. And the one which reports on gonzo science on the web. And a couple of the sites about conspiracy theories.
To get back to the point, instead of what might be considered unproductive surfing, I now do the news.
I grew up with the idea that serious, well-intentioned people keep abreast of the news. Apparently, following the news told you what was happening in the world, and made a better person of you. So I have always felt some residual obligation to keep myself informed, and up-to-date on matters of world-import, even if it is the release of yet another iPod that makes my own yet more outmoded.
But lately, I am beginning to question whether the news will ever be able to make me a serious and well-intentioned person.
For a start, my intentions I believe are good, with or without the news. For instance, how is the sure fire knowledge that yet another round of diplobabble will lead to yet another decline in investor confidence, and yet another increase in the price of crude, going to make me better-intentioned than I already am?
And should I take seriously the idea that all the talk of regional stability and global security is going to do me any good? As it stands right now, global warming seems to be upon us, so if some nefarious terrorist has it in for me, the rising tide and a bunch of evil glaciers will probably get me well before he does.
And I am not alone in feeling that serious and well-intentioned news just isn’t doing any good.
A scan of the sites and the papers inevitably positions global politics and erupting wars in very close proximity to stories about people doing incredibly stupid things such as navigating the globe in a shopping trolley or getting stuck in a chimney while trying to learn the trade of sideshow contortionism.
I have an acquaintance, a media analyst, who sees this kind of ‘print-to-fit’ content, and there is such a lot of it, as a threat. He is probably right. On the other hand, there are other inferences that can be drawn.
For a start, perhaps these silly stories are a good way of maintaining the collective sanity. Who wants to read a serious news story about yet another hike in the price of crude when you can skip all the stress and go straight to the story about a burglar who tried to open an account while he was in the process of committing a robbery?
And perhaps the circus that calls itself global affairs actually deserves to be positioned alongside stories of barnyard animals escaping their pens to cause rush-hour gridlock in major metropolitan areas. After all, people with global interests do what they do, with or without us knowing about their schemes, and the rest of humanity does its best to survive in spite of all the seriousness and good intentions.
Or perhaps all the silly stories are just a clever stratagem to keep our eyes and minds away from the things that really matter.
There is a certain comfort in not filling my mind with gloom and idiocy. The times that I have been most comfortable and content have been the times when I haven’t followed the news, be it silly people or arrogant politicians. So perhaps the time has come for me to put aside the news again, and go back to the things that matter: friends and placid contentment.
Sometimes no news can be good news.
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