Movie Night: Tim Minchin's 'Storm'

Feel free to believe what you will, but do take a moment to enjoy this animated riff on belief vs. science (in rhyming verse).

The tooth fairy: put away those damn pliers!

Once children come along, we remember the old faces and places, and happily resurrect them. Why should they not share our childhood thrills?

The lost delight of four letter words

Like many young people I used four letter words in place of punctuation. It is sometimes far easier for kids to get people to understand that they have their own needs when everyone stops to listen in shocked silence.

What is the reward of frightening myself?

My 'better version' of a monster would have to be something that is scary enough to keep me locked in the bathroom with my family, almost too scared to breathe, worried that the pounding of my heart might give me away. Interestingly, it could be a hotel. Stephen King's 'The Shining' was one of the few books skillful enough to give me frights. It's a pity that everything else he wrote came across so tame.

Johnny & the Curious Clock by Pierre Mare

I wrote this story for 'children of all ages' in a few idle (frustrated) hours. Inflict it on any nearby kids. They'd probably rather be watching television, but words are self improving. Please let me know how they react.

The Man Who Feared Wednesday by Pierre Mare

The Prophet of Winchester looked up at the stars and breathed blood. His left leg twitched among the litter, twitched and twitched again. Eddie D stared down at the damage, and wished he could go back five minutes, not have done that or have to see it now.

Movie night: Emma-O

'Women are Essentially Water'. Grab the popcorn and a cup of coffee. Shut the kids in the bedroom (with teddy bears). Here's an award-winning short horror film with water from Black Milk Productions.

Alan Dale's DNA (Code Flesh) Episode 5

“She won’t talk, we don’t know her name,” Corrine said as she ran her free hand gently over the girl’s light brown hair. Her stunning black eyes staring into an invisible mirror. One that danced with images of death, gore and hopelessness, she would never forget. Bridjett meets a child. Read more...

LuckyGoldstar and the rehabilitation of Dr. Fu Manchu

Fu Manchu's ongoing battles against the incredibly unobservant Nayland Smith and hilariously lovestruck Dr. Petrie are unfortunately not supported by obvious economic policies in the books. There is no indication of what Fu Manchu might have done once the Si Fan had taken over the world: give up breeding poisonous, coma-inducing fungi and indulge in a fetish for endless bureaucracy and ongoing diplomatic initiatives perhaps? The results would probably be indistinguishable.

A lost dog and the curse of blackjacks

It is widely known that scientists can untangle genes and synthesize almost anything. My suggestion is that they get to it and start cultivating blackjacks in labs, because when it comes to the biodiversity stakes, those are one thing that won't get my vote.

Shakespeare and the monkeys that write him

Would we be able to programme a robot to throw a coffee cup or storm out for a beer whenever the significant other said something insensitive? Could manufacturers offer warranties against separation or divorce?

Urgent appeal for Tsumkwe Bushmen

Willem de Wet is appealing for urgent help in Tsumkwe. According to reports, some of the San Bushmen are having a hard winter and lack very basic necessities to survive. Please help.

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow...

I'm writing a story for Father's Day, so I don't have time to concoct or compose a post. Thanks for coming by and here's a rather fetching (disturbing) cartoon, 'The Backwater Gospel' to keep you amused.

Three bedtime rhymes for horror buffs by Pierre Mare

Now I lay me down to sleep

To dream of things that ooze and creep,

And should they not want out tonight

I pray for some other hideous fright.

Seeing things in a different light: splatters and blobs

Many people now believe that spatters of paint are the epitome of creativity, and they are willing to buy it, be it production line artwork, sold on the street by hawkers claiming it comes from starving student artists, or an expensive piece bought out of a gallery or from the artist who actually is starving.

Summary report on the death of patient Maria Prevarian (MP-R12593) by Pierre Mare

Admission and and initial diagnosis

Mrs Prevarian, aged 54 at the time of her death, was admitted to this facility in April 2002, manifesting symptoms of paranoia, with occasional hallucinatory episodes. On admission, she was diagnosed with dendrophobia, fear of trees, however after refusal to enter her room and an incident in admission, the common area, the consulting psychiatrist's room and the dining area, the phobia was reclassified as xylophobia, fear of woods and wooden objects.

Reassessing Lovecraft: H.P. Lovecraft's essay 'Supernatural Horror in Literature'

If you are a 'serious horror reader', you will know this one. Someone asks you what you watch or read or write, and instead of saying something wise like 'Japanese technical manuals', you blurt out the 'H' word to be rewarded with a blank stare and a moment's pause before the response comes. “Oh, you mean like Stephen King?”

Chickenscratch Prayer by Pierre Mare

This is an incantation I wrote a while back in one of those moments when I was really desperate to write.

Chickenscratch ink
On farmyard pages
Biting thoughts
And teeth and claws

11 reasons why you don't want to be a werewolf

1. The tickly bit on your side which makes you twitch your leg
2. Waking up with groin strain from scratching
3. Getting put out in the back yard because you beg and whine when the family has dinner 

Cannibalism: the likely difference between then and now

What's with this business of eating man flesh? It's not like we're evolving to become orcs.  First there was the guy who ate the face of this other guy. Then there was the guy who ate the brains of another guy. And now there is a porn star who may have taken the figurative idea of eating someone one step too close to the literal side of things.

Relax. I'm safe. Now put away those silver bullets.

The little dears don't eat people: their teeth are too underdeveloped to break skin when they bite, usually. And they prefer sweet stuff, or mushy carrots.

Due to unforeseen circumstances...

...which included some other stuff, some time wasting, some work, getting waylaid by interesting questions and a power cut, here's a risque picture of a cactus instead of the usual writing. It's called 'Impediments'.

Some thoughts on the zombie apocalypse

Lately zombies seem to have lost their shine. It's hard to be brooding, sensitive and attractive to teenage girls, who ought to know better, in the vampire-nouveau kind of way when you are a couple of days on the smelly side of rigor mortis.